Confused...

It's been a while...


And I just ended my job contract in Jolibee. Yeah, it only means I can already take a rest for a long period of time HAHA. But, I miss my working station, my co-employees, the fun we had, and all those things. Aww... I got sad of course... working in Jolibee was a great experience for me. Aside from doing my job, I also learned other stuffs within that 5 months and I won't ever forget those stuffs :)


Right now... I'm just staying at home... watching animes, playing GrandChase, chatting with friends, ughhh... it's really boring... back to my normal life again *sigh* nevertheless, I'm still thankful because during my "work" days, I was never been terminated HAHAHA! I got my salary yesterday and did some shopping. What makes me excited these following days?... HAHA. I'm excited to get my separation pay LOL. Of course, I have to keep some for future stuffs though... On the other hand, I'm a bit confused on what am I gonna do, will I go study again or work abroad? :/ Thinking about these stuffs makes me crazy. And I don't know what to do. My parents want me to enroll myself in a review center for the Nursing Licensure Exam this December... ughh. I don't have to repeat it again and again. It's still a BIG "NO" for me. Why do I have to push myself on something that is not for me? Sigh... sometimes, I have to stand on my own. But the problem is... I don't know where to start. Actually, I really wanna talk to my dad about this... that somehow he will still support me on whatever I want. I really want to study again, seriously... The course that I'm longing to take. I don't care even it will take me years to graduate as long as I'm happy on what I've choose. 


Or let's say... I have siblings that are still studying...of course, I just don't want to be a burden for them. I still have another option which is to work abroad. There... I can save a lot for my studies and I think it's a good starting point. I'll take this last option whenever they will still disagree on me. It's really hard but I have to believe that I can make it. I'll prove to them someday that I can do great things aside from nursing. 


Help me, Lord. For you... nothing is impossible. I believe that I can achieve my goal in life. 

HELLO CEBU!

May 25, 2011 - The day that I arrived in Cebu Mactan International Airport. Yes, I guess my dream is slowly coming true. At last, I'm already in the place that I wanted to go. But I don't came here just for vacation, in fact I want to try to live here independently. I choose Cebu coz I feel this is a very nice and peaceful place. Unlike, the others... uhm, Cebu is a perfect place for me. But before anything else, I left my home in Zamboanga just around 8 o'clock in the morning. My mom and dad sent me to the airport. Since, my flight was still 10am, I had the last 2 hours to talk with my parents. I felt kinda sad... since I won't be able to see them for how many months and I'll surely miss them. But, I'm still thankful that despite everything had happened, they were able to understand my condition and I assure them that I won't give them further headaches. I left the place with  smile on my face and hoping that we will see each other again :)

It's been a week since I arrived here in Cebu. What can I say about this place? ... This is place is AWESOME! There were so many beautiful spots like resorts, hotels, restaurants and others. I can't name them, honestly. As I was inside the taxi, I could see there are lots of tallest buildings, very clean and organized. The "Cebuanos" are very nice and friendly. We went to SM City Cebu and had our lunch at Mang Inasal. Ughh.. my trolly was really disturbing. After that, we relaxed for a while in my aunt's boarding house. Then we went to Metro Gaisano and we bought some personal belongings. The next day, since my aunt was on her day off, she taught me about the transportation, yeah I wondered about the "numbers" placed on the top or sides of the public transportation. Then, we had some roundabouts in some "famous" places here in Cebu City. We also had a trip on Asiatown IT Park, wherein there are lots of call center companies and the place is very relaxing. 

Then morning came, I woke up very early, took up a heavy breakfast, and prepared myself for job hunting. But unfortunately,  I realized that I'm not yet ready for a job. So, I told my parents that I'll undergone further training. Thankfully, they agreed. So, I went to Excel Asia to inquire regarding their training program for call center. I had my initial interview just I arrived and fortunately, I passed the interview and I'm ready to submit myself for training.Yesterday, we went to Colegio del Sto. Nino. I was amazed by their church. It's kinda old on the external view but when I went inside... it was very lovely. The church had some paintings on the walls and at the center, there are a lot of statues of some saints. I told myself that someday I'll bring my family here and have fun. I took some shots but unfortunately, I wasn't able to bring my USB chord so I can't upload some photos. Darn!

Anyway, there are still some places that I want to go... I hope I'm going to have fun here in Cebu!!

Hanggang dito muna!

Work

4 days from now, I'll be leaving my home and I'll be off to Cebu. Yeah, it's kinda sad but I have to do this since, this is a part of my plan for my future. I'm also excited since this is my very first time to visit Cebu. LOL
I've been dreaming this place for years that someday I'm going to visit this place. And now, I guess it's going to be a "dream come true". I have my plans to do whenever I arrived. I can't wait!


First of all, I'm going to stay at my Aunt's residence while I'm applying for a job. I'm going for an interview of my job application... hoping that they will hire me >.< I just submitted my resume through online application and they wanted me to "walk-in" so that, they would know me personally. [I already feel nervous about it]


Another thing is, I'm excited to see my fellow high school classmates! Some of them are working in call centers. I hope we could gather all sometime.


Honestly, I can't explain my feelings right now. Well, I must do it! Even though, I'm not used to be far from my parents. I'll just make a call so that I won't feel sad. And I'll train myself to be independent. This decision I made, is kinda hard. I've been thinking about it since the day I graduated. So, I'll give my best shot.

Monotony bumps-off!

Since I have to take the NLE (Nursing Licensure Examination) next year, this passed few months (from the day when I finished my college up till now) have been so jaded. Certainly, I’m not keen on having a good time elsewhere.  All day long, I ended up doing nothing within. I always looking at my Mac Book or PC, poking around its facets while hanging on to JPOP (Japanese Pop) or “anime” music. My blood brother (Mac Book) aims to ward ennui off and have fun one way or another. From time to time, I just browse through the internet, reading online anime “manga”, otherwise I pull out my mechanical pencil and sketch pad then I do some sketching of certain anime characters (OMG! I should’ve my own character!). If I’m not in the frame of mind to do those stuffs, I just flow away and amuse myself in playing the piano in the side altar.

Blimey! It feels like I’m NO-GOOD at all since I’m lethargic to do other things. Anyway, life is still humbling, just because there’s no need to be anxious. LOL.  I wish I could find a job sooner or later; I still want to enjoy being a frivolous individual at the end of this year. I think I would be a “hikikomori” (person who isolates himself or herself from society in their homes for a period exceeding six months) for a few months and hikikomori’s life is amazing! LOL (but I prefer living in a clean environment).

Honestly, I intend not to take NLE anymore, since all I want is to continue in studying Fine Arts program. But before anything else, I should seek a job, to earn my keep and I’m going to use it for my other course. So, a stroke of luck to me!

ANIME REVIEW: Kimi Ni Todoke

“Reaching You” was another connotation of Kimi ni Todoke.

Kimi ni Todoke is pure, lovely and an idealistic anime just like other “shoujo” sequence ought to be. I just wanna say it’s just an average one and it has a good series for its type. It has lots of “shoujo” triteness (of course, kimi ni todoke is “shoujo” in nature). Just like “Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Naruto, Bleach and other “shounen” animes have also “shounen” triteness, but they’re all damn excellent animes, so does Kimi ni Todoke with its customary shoujo components. I’ve watched quite a few series that produced a well cast this way like “Bokura Ga Ita, Fruits Basket, and Lovely Complex”. A reclusive girl named Kuronuma Sawako discovers friendship and romance that she had never known before, because of her relationship to a guy named Kazehaya Shouta, Sawako has improve her personality sooner or later with the help of Kazehaya and started to make friends with Chizuru, Ayane and Ryuu. It has a thriving romances, amiable friendships and indignant emotions that describe “shoujo”.

Our female leading character, Sawako has brimming with naiveté, though her prestige as a late bloomer had gone pretty well. As anticipated, she developed romantic feelings to a good-looking, warm-hearted and popular Kazehaya in which the latter he also had feelings for Sawako. He’s just… there, smiling all the time. The barely delicate segment that I found in this series was its characters enhancement. This how ameliorate in its second half as soon as the main love adversary is put on a bus away from the main plot. The characters amend efficiently; Sawako ascertains how more pleasing life is and Kazehaya become less mediocre. I like all the characters, Ryuu in particular.

The animation is fairly austere, but it is satisfactory, since it takes place in a slice-of-life scenery somewhat simple day to day lives of average young people. The series remain genuine to its vivid, dreamy and poignant impression. The opening song which is titled “ Kimi ni Todoke” by Tomofu Tanizawa is simple but pleasant to heed. Also the ending song, “Kataomoi” by Chara is just an ideal one. A gentle and lovely instrumental revise is played during selected scenes in the series. In the end, I still see Kimi ni Todoke as a bit of starry-eyed series with characters that never really stand out at anything. So, I strongly suggest this anime if you are more particular in “shoujo”. Its manga is still on-going, watch out for new updates regarding its LIVE ACTION and second season which will be out next year, in 2011. 

manga site: http://www.mangareader.net/280-19779-1/kimi-ni-todoke/chapter-0.html

Live Action Trailer: http://youtu.be/Vz_rH5cPVuE

Yes, I won't give in.

Life is full of disclosures, we don’t know what will happen in during our existence, no one can envisage the outlook in life, nobody has the knowledge what future lies ahead but there’s one thing I’m certain of, is to NEVER GIVE UP in every hardship we dwell. Because, in every epoch of shadows, there’s always a pastel that leads us to the right path and latterly all will be worth it.  For GOD, our Father is always with us and He lives in every heart of us. He never deserted us, but still some people keep on upbraid if they weren’t able to make it. It is FAITH that gives us HOPE and if we don’t have “strong” faith, we can’t triumph over those ordeals. I’ve learned this from a song, which titled was “You are loved (Don’t give up)” by Josh Groban. This song lifts my fortitude and cogitates about my eminence in life. Based from it, I have this kind of illness which is rarely treated. I just found out during the month of May when I went to an endocrinologist. The physician ordered to obtain laboratory results and based from the results, the levels were beyond the normal range and I guess it’s hereditary in nature. It was a dreadful experience indeed. I just accept the fact that I’m not a hundred percent well rather than to blame GOD for everything. Still, I acknowledge GOD for all the things happened to me. I’m gonna take it as a challenge even if it is life-threatening (as what I’ve learned from our subject matter), I WON’T GIVE UP! I know it’s hard for me but I deem that I’m going to recover soon and I have FAITH in Him. I tried to relate my experience regarding the song; in fact its libretto edified my wits solely and tends to be an inspirational song of mine. Each line has an evocative value and authentic. I looked deeply into its lines in which I reflected on it. “What if GOD was the one who tells everything in the song?” “What if GOD was the one who is speaking to me right now?” “What if it was really HIM?” (Silence obscured my mind) and all of a sudden, I was aided. I cried and yet I was relieved, because I know IT WAS HIM. I addressed all my emotions through petitions and I told everything to Him all my sorrows and pains, and I asked for forgiveness. I know He heeds our prayers all the time. I truly believe in Him and I know He won’t vacate us in times of adversity. Since God is always with us from the first time we were conveyed in this realm.  I know everything will be fine at the end. Anyway, I just want to share this song that made me feel loved by GOD, no matter where fate may lead us, still we mustn’t give up!

We are loved regardless of what kind of individual we are. GOD still loves us even though we made a lot of mistakes, frustrations and all the wrong-doings we’ve done, still He’s ready to forgive us. “If darkness blinds you, I will shine to guide you.” --- This song is dedicated to all of us, who are facing countless of trials as we continue to grow up. I hope it helped you somewhow J

As you watch this video, try to reflect yourself on its lyrics. I’m sure, you’ll feel better.

 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-G8IfjPAII 

I got over you...

It’s a melodious feeling knowing that there’s someone who loves you beyond doubt, someone who will be there for you all the time, and someone who lingers with you no matter what it takes. At this instant, that someone came along for me. I have this feeling that was never felt before whereas I’ve never felt for the “first” one. I deem this person will be my last, whom I’m bounded to spend my life with. His placid caress made me feel delighted and perky. His personality diverse from the “first “one I loved before. This person has a bona fide affection towards me. His love is absolute and true.

Last night, I was at the veranda, sat on a ligneous chase lounge, after I took my dinner at 7:15 pm. I gazed up at the patent sky; stars were gleaming fairly all over and the wintry atmosphere I felt was devastating. I turned on my mobile phone and shuffled all the songs. Then, the song was played, which is entitled “Can I have this dance?” which was performed by Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens in High School Musical 3: Senior Year. The song was meaningful and vastly essential as regards to my status quo. It jogged my memory of somebody from the past. All those nostalgic memories and thoughts of him resembled in my mind and formed a “wheel” wherein we went through a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, but I guess those were not worth it. I loved the wrong person but still I’m grateful, because of him, I’ve ascertained a lot of things during those times we were together. I should always bear in mind those things I’ve learned for my “true” love to come.  I became “strong” because of him. I couldn’t imagine that I rose above those heartrending periods. I realized all my exertions went to nothing. How stupid am I? But it’s all right, I think it was enough already. I don’t want to make that person love me again; he just left me with no ample reason. I felt it on the first place; he doesn’t love me anymore that’s why he reasoned out some sort of “palusot”.

It has been 7 months since it was happened. But nowadays, I don’t shed my tears every time I think of him. I moved on thoroughly. It was “time” mended all the “wounds” which I encountered before. We don’t communicate anymore since he told me everything inappropriate. As time passes by, my love for him faded gradually. Now, I’m much stronger and matured than as expected. I expunged all stuffs which were associated about him. Every single detail was wiped out and at this moment, I’m at ease. In fact, I don’t care about him anymore. I endure to live my life at peace. I don’t want to live my life despondently just because of him. Who the hell is he? There’s no way I could do that. In spite of everything, God blessed me with caring friends and family which are the “assets” during ordeals. I fathomed that I should enjoy life to the fullest with them and the person I love the most. I hope he’s happy with the trail he chose.

Anyway, if you’re (refers to Rainier) able to read my blog, especially this entry… all I can say to you is… thank you that you left me as I turned out to be the “better” and the “stronger” me.  It’s true that I loved you before but you just wasted it. I’m not the one who has lost you, but you are the one who lost a person who loved you wholly. That’s exceptionally true. At this point in time, my feelings for you had changed. I no longer love you but still I forgive you for all the mistakes you’ve done. I thought there’s someone who deserves my love but I never regret for loving you. These things I’m saying to you right now weren’t told before because I was afraid to tell you. Now that I moved on, I have the strength to tell everything what I feel. I’m over you now co’z there’s someone showed me what “true” love is. But I thank you for all the efforts you did during those days. The things that are related to you don’t concern me any longer. I’m contented what I have right now. It doesn’t mean that I hate you; I just want you to know what I feel about you right now. In short, “Wala na akong pakialam sayo.”  I came to think of that you’ve changed a bit, “lumabas din ang tunay na kulay mo” and yeah, people change nga naman but for some reasons. I wish you luck and goodbye. That’s all.

Now, I’ll give all my love for my “true” prince charming, the one who will do everything for me. He’s the “right” one for me.

Anime review...5 centimeters per second

5 centimeters per second...

               The name was taken from a speed of cherry blossom fall from the tree.This anime is one of the brilliant works of Makoto Shinkai. It was yesterday when I watched this anime for the first time. My lover suggested this anime to me co’z I was looking for some new animes preferably romatinc ones. He recommended it since he thought that perhaps, we can relate about the story and yeah! It’s true. But somehow, I’m hoping that it won’t happen to us. The story at the end was kind of misfortune, dreadful indeed. When I told him regarding the story, he asked me, “You think, you’ll do the same way like the girl did in the story?”  I answered, “Of course NO! People have different perceptions about love relationships and each relationship have different love stories.” Both of us were hushed. I believe it won’t happen to me again like the ‘first one’. Even though we are far apart, the strong faith with each other maintains our relationship to become much stronger. I believe in him.

             Anyway, the story splits into 3 chapters. Each chapter had a typical flow. But at the end I became poignant about what happen. It was “spring” time, cherryblossoms flourish so gaily. When Akari (girl) and Takaki (boy) were taking their pace together along the side road, cherryblossoms plunge so gently. They were still in elementary that time. But one day, they got separate caused by their parent’s job. The 1^st chapter tells about their relationship, how are they acquainted to each other and the reason behind the departed. The person who departed first from their relationship is Akari. Akari send her first letter to Takaki. They didn’t see each other for a long time but they keep sending each others letter, until they meet each other again at the train station. The purpose is, because Takaki will go to transfer further away. On Takaki’s train-ride to meet Akari was so much throbbing that he had imagine.

             The second chapter tells about after their meeting. It goes to Takaki’s side, which the story was told from another person’s view, wherein that person had a huge “crush” on him since the day was Takaki transferred. That person is Kanae Sumida. She tried to spend her time with Takaki everyday. The more she spends time with him, the more she knows that she loves him. But she couldn’t say that straightforwardly to Takaki. But Takaki didn’t notice those times he spends with Kanae and he always staring off as if he was searching for something.

         The last chapter tells their movement and their childhood love. Everyone have moved on and each of their own part to take. But one day, Takaki and Akari passed each other a place similar to the place where they made a promise to each other long time ago. As they were going back at the each other, two passing train cut off their view.

         So I adore this anime movie, touching and sad. But we can’t do anything, time will surely past and those feelings they had for each other will go to change. The quality and animation made this anime very pleasant. The silence which match the feeling of the situation, remind a lot of reality. And the ending song (One more time, one more chance) elucidates a lot of emotion. This is a strong story that informs the situation of many people who must move and leave some significant individual behind. You know that once you’re far away from them, during that time, letters don’t help much. As for us now, we have sms and msn which are faster than letters. So it’s easy to converse along and the feelings might be much closer than before but still… you can’t see the same thing as where the person is.

          Such a very nice movie!!! You’ll surely appreciate it. But compared to our situation, even if it will take us years to meet, still I will truly love him throughout those years and my feelings for him won’t ever change. I keep my promise and I believe that we will meet someday, and I am going to spend the rest of my life with him ♥

I want to be an ARTIST

“I want to be an Artist!” this is what my wits yearn for, my decisive ambition that I would like to pull off while I’m still subsisting in this realm. Art is my passion. I endure my vitality filled with artifice and I am honored to live with it. Its core furnished my life with luminosity, beyond wonderful blushes I perceive concerning the milieu that enfolds me, those inimitable figures I saw wherever I set off, and those astonishing works of art made by certain individuals serve as a challenge that I should go on. Someday, I’ll let everyone catch a glimpse of all my magnum opus which I exerted too much effort just to propagate such an art.

As we all know, art is broad enough to learn. It is a large body of knowledge yet with different areas of interest similar to “science”. Music, literary works, any forms of dance, paintings, sculptures, designing; handicrafts, sketches, photography, animation and cinematography…all these stuffs can be found in arts. Even “nursing” is also an art in such way on how to take care of sick people not only who are ill but also those who are in “well” state. Brilliant, isn’t it? However, what I want most is to be an animator and a photographer. Though I love to sketch a lot and usually I drenched my feelings when I draw. I love the beauty of the scenery that’s why I’m interested to take its images by means of photography. I’m pleased since God gave me such a wonderful gift having awe-inspiring hands and with this ability, I must share it to everyone. I don’t want to take it away from me for I have found happiness when I’m wrapping up these things. Of course, each one of us possessed such amazing intellectual gifts and we should be grateful on what we have right now. Thank you Lord!

i took this shot :)

maka albarn made by me :)

Even though, I completed my degree in nursing, still I want to proceed in Fine arts course. I can sense there’s a “calling” that I should tag along and I feel remorseful for my kin because I have chosen my dream. Perhaps, I’ll be successful if I should do it and I know I’m going to make it no matter what it takes for nothing is impossible if there’s determination.

the building blocks of who you are TODAY

            Do you remember certain people from your past? Who are those people? Have they meant that much to you and helped you be who you are today? Before we became who we are today, people we've been together with before especially those whom we've met in school have all contributed to the whole process of being who we are today. From the most blissful-naive to the teenage bitter-sweet experience, we should be grateful to have those kinds of experiences. Almost everyone who have been with us in our journey seem to be essential even the ones whom we've cared the least or hated the most. A greater percentage of the people from our past have turned the other direction when we reached the crossroads for they also have a different dream to pursue in life. If it wasn't for them, we may be stuck in the traffic with no traffic lights on to guide us and we can't be who we are today. Reminiscing back our past that's full of memories seems to be nostalgic. Every now and then we will seek for a place in our memories we have kept all of those remarkable memories we've shared. The building blocks of who we are to day do not merely consist of those who are good and delightful but it also includes those who have inflicted pain on us and made us feel sad. We could  never experience those kinds of days anymore and the way they used to be can never be brought back because that's just how things are. People do change but this doesn't give us a reason to forget them. You could never be the best of who you are today without them.

21 years....still blissful.

November 4, 2010 - 1 year was added as I am in a journey for 20 years of existence.

God is great! I’m grateful to be in this world safe and sound, a peaceful life is all I yearn for. Right now I’m having a good time in celebrating my birthday all by myself, it’s not like I’m sort of egocentric individual but lots of circumstances had occurred as I grow feebly. Perhaps, it was really meant to happen in my life because of those ordeals that came across, I’ve learned a lot of perceptions in life and turned out to be the “better” me. God bestowed upon me with trusted friends for their never-ending admonitions and someone who is always been there loving me always, that someone whom I called “my best friend and my lover”. Stronger than ever, more full-fledged than before but furthermore I’m confident enough to façade whichever endeavors I may take.

Lots of my friends, high school colleagues, college pals, and relatives have the same speculations; they greeted me all the way through texts, FB, emails, YM, and other social networks that I have. Especially “him” he called me on the phone at 12 midnight just to utter this to me “Novelyn Manuel... My Sawako; My One and Only True Love...A Very Happy Birthday to You and a Sweet Monthsary to us! :* Stay Happy my Baby. Don’t Worry, I Promise to You; not only just for you but also to let everyone know that I will truly Love You Forever and ever. I Love You:* “aww. How sweet of him. Somehow, I feel glad because they remember my birthday. I cherish their efforts vastly. Thank you!!!

Even though I have a dilemma regarding my family, I find ways just to relish and to heed how marvelous life is and my mind grasped something knowing that everything will be alright in the end. I keep my fingers crossed that all the things had been wrecked will be settle down someday and I believe, it will gonna be.

Now, I’m 21, I realized that I’m already capable to live independently and I can handle things on my own. But I’m having a hard time to confer with my parents as regards to the profession I want to pursue. Just hoping that they’ll understand what I’m feeling right now. All I want is to have a typical life on my own and a family that keeps on supporting me whatever path I may take.

 I’m gonna make a wish for my birthday!

*blows the candle*