It’s a melodious feeling knowing that there’s someone who loves you beyond doubt, someone who will be there for you all the time, and someone who lingers with you no matter what it takes. At this instant, that someone came along for me. I have this feeling that was never felt before whereas I’ve never felt for the “first” one. I deem this person will be my last, whom I’m bounded to spend my life with. His placid caress made me feel delighted and perky. His personality diverse from the “first “one I loved before. This person has a bona fide affection towards me. His love is absolute and true.
Last night, I was at the veranda, sat on a ligneous chase lounge, after I took my dinner at 7:15 pm. I gazed up at the patent sky; stars were gleaming fairly all over and the wintry atmosphere I felt was devastating. I turned on my mobile phone and shuffled all the songs. Then, the song was played, which is entitled “Can I have this dance?” which was performed by Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens in High School Musical 3: Senior Year. The song was meaningful and vastly essential as regards to my status quo. It jogged my memory of somebody from the past. All those nostalgic memories and thoughts of him resembled in my mind and formed a “wheel” wherein we went through a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, but I guess those were not worth it. I loved the wrong person but still I’m grateful, because of him, I’ve ascertained a lot of things during those times we were together. I should always bear in mind those things I’ve learned for my “true” love to come. I became “strong” because of him. I couldn’t imagine that I rose above those heartrending periods. I realized all my exertions went to nothing. How stupid am I? But it’s all right, I think it was enough already. I don’t want to make that person love me again; he just left me with no ample reason. I felt it on the first place; he doesn’t love me anymore that’s why he reasoned out some sort of “palusot”.
It has been 7 months since it was happened. But nowadays, I don’t shed my tears every time I think of him. I moved on thoroughly. It was “time” mended all the “wounds” which I encountered before. We don’t communicate anymore since he told me everything inappropriate. As time passes by, my love for him faded gradually. Now, I’m much stronger and matured than as expected. I expunged all stuffs which were associated about him. Every single detail was wiped out and at this moment, I’m at ease. In fact, I don’t care about him anymore. I endure to live my life at peace. I don’t want to live my life despondently just because of him. Who the hell is he? There’s no way I could do that. In spite of everything, God blessed me with caring friends and family which are the “assets” during ordeals. I fathomed that I should enjoy life to the fullest with them and the person I love the most. I hope he’s happy with the trail he chose.
Anyway, if you’re (refers to Rainier) able to read my blog, especially this entry… all I can say to you is… thank you that you left me as I turned out to be the “better” and the “stronger” me. It’s true that I loved you before but you just wasted it. I’m not the one who has lost you, but you are the one who lost a person who loved you wholly. That’s exceptionally true. At this point in time, my feelings for you had changed. I no longer love you but still I forgive you for all the mistakes you’ve done. I thought there’s someone who deserves my love but I never regret for loving you. These things I’m saying to you right now weren’t told before because I was afraid to tell you. Now that I moved on, I have the strength to tell everything what I feel. I’m over you now co’z there’s someone showed me what “true” love is. But I thank you for all the efforts you did during those days. The things that are related to you don’t concern me any longer. I’m contented what I have right now. It doesn’t mean that I hate you; I just want you to know what I feel about you right now. In short, “Wala na akong pakialam sayo.” I came to think of that you’ve changed a bit, “lumabas din ang tunay na kulay mo” and yeah, people change nga naman but for some reasons. I wish you luck and goodbye. That’s all.
Now, I’ll give all my love for my “true” prince charming, the one who will do everything for me. He’s the “right” one for me.
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